The road trip, totally different from a side trip, as a road trip is planned and a side trip just "happens".
When my littles were very little and ranged from 3 months to 10 yrs and 4 ages in between, we road tripped quite a bit.
My husband's job didn't always give him two days in a row off, let alone a vacation so very often the road trip consisted of myself and my Team of 6 littles. We could take our time and adventure en route, and he would fly to where ever our destination was. Now and again my sister would joyfully join me if we were going to visit family. My Team ADORES their Auntie and the addition to her in the shotgun position delighted us all.
Now let me be perfectly transparent, the bullet points that follow were harvested after years of trial and error. So much error...(perhaps another post on that later). As is the case for my entire blog, take what works for you, and leave the rest. These are the things that we found worked for us, and the unique blend of personalities in our home.
Lessons from the road:
Everyone has their spot. There is no "calling shotgun" or an optimal seat. While this may seem legalistic or restrictive, I am certain this has saved hours of my life that could have been spent arbitrating the emotional bantering for positions. The oldest passenger in the car (after airbag safety compliance has been met) gets the front passenger seat. If they choose to relinquish that position that is their option, however when babies are buckled and I am ready, decisions and debates must be completed.
If a rest stop is needed, we all get moving and "rest". I have done research with purpose here, and my studies have shown; rest stops with littles and/or a troupe take 30 minutes whether you are in a rush and just get to business, or if you have fun and play in addition to business. THUS please for the love of peace in the car, have some fun. Toddlers and young kids that can't quite play "catch", can indeed play "fetch". You throw a ball, frisbee, rolled up sock, and they chase it and return to you. It's hilarious and we all loved it. Drop a picnic blanket, have a quick snack, stretch talk to teddy bears, look at the clouds. Walk around the rest stop, look for flowers (aka weeds), birds, sticks, rocks, etc. Get your business done, and off you go rested and relaxed.
Music to connect. If you have been playing music during the ins and outs of your days, then you have a play list already! Perhaps compile a "chill" playlist, and a "fun/play/sing" playlist. This will make one aspect of your road trip more familiar, freeing up senses to enjoy other new things. Will this make you crazy? Not if you are intentional about the music you play on a regular basis. You are the adult, you make the music choices, choose something that doesn't make you crazy :) Nowhere does it say you must play "Baby Shark" on a daily basis, or ever. I happen to enjoy musicals that my kids sing along to, but they also sing along to 80's music (carefully proofed for explicit content of course). We have enjoyed the movie Fantasia, and THEN in the car they can mentally go through the story lines, when I play the soundtrack! If you, like me, enjoy podcasts that may not be suitable for the crew in your car, save that for an earbud (just one) when it is naptime.
Something to do. I like to have every kid bring something they like to do. If they are able to read in the car, that's great if not, we play the classic car games like "I'm thinking of an animal" "The license plate game", "car bingo", or "I spy". I have printed out maps as well and a list of towns we will go through, so "are we there yet" doesn't come up, they have the list, and they know. As they have gotten older, (teenagers) I do let them drift off to their own music with headphones. However checking out with noses on screens, defeats the purpose of a road trip, so we may have an hour of screen time on a multi day trip, but not much more than that. Being bored is not a life threatening condition, should that happen.
Food. If you are a "no food in the car" person or have travel pukers that are triggered by eating or smells, I'm sorry, and skip the snacks. If you eat wherever you are, whenever you need to and use food as a child management tool, pick your car snacks carefully! Think; low choke factor (now is not a time for hotdogs and uncut grapes), low prep (oranges are great, how many do you want to peel while driving), low mess (nobody wants to spend every rest stop changing clothes and wiping down every face). Ideas that have worked for us are based in packaging, the snack sized ziploc bags, or small tupperware-like containers. Raisins, low-dust crackers, cheerios plain or flavored, cheese sticks, fruit roll ups/ dried fruit, water in whatever container makes the least mess. As for timing, we would have milestones that we would aim for such as, "20 miles to the state line, and then we break out the snacks!" this keeps them engaged in trip progress and groups snack maintenance tasks. Meals. Ok Mommas, here YOU know your gang and your budget and your timeline goals. Some trips we stopped at Subway sandwich shops for the non-greasy "normal" food that our bodies were used to. Now and again we would do "fast food" or pizza, but we tried to limit that. On some occasions I would pre-make sandwiches and stock a cooler with fruit and veggies and salads. If you go this route you can combine a grocery supply stop with a rest stop, thus cutting out one stop.
Travel by day. This idea can bring up many different views, I have friends that leave after dinner and drive through the night, the kids arrive a the new location rested up and ready to roll. If that works for you, DO THAT!! For me the journey is part of the over all adventure. I LOVE to road trip, and it is not just about getting from point A to point B. It also depends on the length of the trip, as in if we are sleeping over somewhere on the way or plan to make it to our destination in one swoop. That said, our usual trip starts at sun up (or 30 min before). The kids wake up as we travel and our first stop is change of clothes and breakfast. We adventure through the day, and stop 30 min before sunset. My reasons for this are multiple, as stated above I often was the only adult in the vehicle, and I felt safer traveling in the daylight. While I do enjoy driving by myself, when I am on a family road trip I enjoy interacting with my family! Songs, stops, snacks, sights, all the fun that we can experience together. If everyone is asleep, or can't see much because it is dark, that lessens my fun factor. The kids can do more activity type things, (drawing, reading, playing) when the sun is still up. Lastly, arriving at our destination or hotel or campsite with a bit of daylight left, makes unpacking easier, and sets us up for a restful night's sleep.
Packing. Speaking of packing, here are a few things to consider. When everyone was very young and I didn't want any extra drama, I was a complete control freak and only let them choose whatever "sleep buddy" they needed and I did the rest. As they got older I phased them into being responsible for their own clothes and belongings. FULL DISCLOSURE this means I have had more than one trip where a young traveler has brought along only underwear and dolls. So keep this in mind and cross that bridge when you have the mental space to find it humorous. I try and pack light, keeping in mind how easy replacing forgotten items may be. If we are out in the woods, I'm not running to the store for clearance shorts to get us through.
Safety. Lastly I will share a few of my hard and fast rules for safety considerations. Every person is in a car seat or buckled appropriately when the car is in motion. Every person, 100% of the time. There is no screaming, or throwing objects around in the car, we talk about why these are unsafe actions. When we stop, (and I am the solo adult) we leave the car as a unit. No one is left in the car alone, no one is in the facilities alone. We talk about emergency procedures for instances such as, fire alarms/ fire, earthquakes/tornadoes, stranger interactions and people that make us feel unsafe. I have both boys and girls and as they have gotten older I don't take my boys into the women's restroom with me. I check in at least daily with our progress to someone not traveling with us. I also (as many homeschool parents do) narrate the "why" of my actions to the older kids, and love when that comes back around. Why do I park where I park (next to cart/buggy return well lit area etc), why I sometimes would ask for help with getting groceries to my car and other times do not. Why a rest area is by-passed due to safety concerns etc. Eye contact, situational awareness, not being over burdened with bags/ kids etc, not forgetting keys/wallet etc. I am always teaching and as they get older, coaching. Panic is not usually useful, fear is though, and teaching them to listen to their senses and have a plan is optimal.
Now many of my grown kids are delighted to take off on a road trip of their own, leading me to believe that the fond memories we made logging all those miles, were not just fond to me.
I hope that's helpful, and you can glean a tidbit to use on your next on the road adventure!
-Jeanette
