Age Appropriateness, in an age of chaos
Act your age!
Grow up!
Don't be a baby!
You're not old enough for that!
That's not age appropriate!
How old are you anyway?
Oh the challenges we face trying to help our kids mature at a rate that doesn't land them in therapy for years.
If you've been reading along with me for awhile, you may be familiar with this idea, but for those that are new, or those that missed it; you know your kids best. You, their parents, know them, wild concept I know.
A true story
There once was a smart talented toddler, a quick witted gal who possessed an enviable vocabulary for her age. Her attentive and insightful mother read to her often (because it was critical to her development). Well, one delightful reading session the main character in the book became sad. The mother figure in the story, went away (to work perhaps, out for the evening? the detail is not relevant here), and the main character was SO sad. He cried and cried and had all the feels. Well this perceptive toddler (yes empath), became distraught. Big crocodile tears, snotty crying that truly only toddlers can do, she was practically inconsolable. They needed to take a break, gather their thoughts and emotions and finish the darn book, when the Mom in the story came back and all was resolved. For several weeks (several) this sweet basket of feelings would tear up at the mention of the main character, the book, or someone leaving.
The point
Some would say, this book was too advanced (emotionally) for this sweet deep feeling tot. Some would say, the mom should have "censored" the story line in some way, to spare the sorrow that the book evoked in this little new bibliophile. I would counter, what would be the lesson there? This mother (not me, by the way), wisely let her child feel the feelings, connect with the character, gain her composure and follow through with the resolution of the story line. Parents go away, and (statistically speaking, more often than not) come back, in life that happens. Feelings are not bad, they are part of who we are. This mom realized, that this was a teaching opportunity, to walk through this experience with her child, and guide her as she dealt with being sad.
Of course I am not suggesting that you grab the latest vampire trilogy and rock your preschooler's world. There is a gauge we must use to not traumatize our kids, but do not underestimate their ability to grasp a concept and grow from it. Because a book is a great place to learn about life together, and all that may cross our path in our future.
As kids get older we still need to watch what they are reading, and watching and engage them in conversations about those things. However if we heavily censor everything they have access to, how will they learn to deal with the truth that is in our world today. People die, evil exists, unfairness happens, tragedy happens, love grows, heroes are made, good guys win, and good guys lose, and sometimes the good guys were really the bad guys, all of that is part of being human.
Even academically, if we have a student that is interested in something that isn't the norm for their age, why not let them dive in? I have a student (early high school) that is fascinated by the science of forensics, not really a 9th grade class. I purchased an undergrad level text, and she is (figuratively) burning through it. When concepts and ideas come up that are beyond her comprehension or base knowledge, we compare it and research her other grade level science resources. The interest is sparked by the upper level curriculum, and helps her to put to use the foundation she is building.
Let's flip it.
Coloring, playdough, legos, forts, building with wood, finger-painting, baking, costumes, make believe, dolls, cookie decorating, slip n slide, hoola hoops, mud pies, snow angels, trampolies, ALL THE FUN!! This is the stuff that childhood memories are made of. This is what makes a day fun, memorable and adventurous.
How about assigning a topic above to your TEENS.
WHAT!?! "I don't want to waste time on that, they are too old for that, they need to study!!" "My teens would not ever do such little kid stuff".
Giving our older kids and teens permission to play, and be a kid now and again, is healthy. They may act like adults, but they are in transition, they are not there yet. It is a big relief to be creative and play and not have to reach a standard or expectation. (Even for us!)
If you get resistance to this crazy concept, talk to your friends that have younger kids. Perhaps a "study break" where your teens pair and help their kids with any of the above. Your teens can engage and lead the play of the youngers, thus giving the older kids "permission" to play.
Of course you can also up the ante a bit, and assign a "play topic" to solve a higher thinking challenge. Such as, what is the longest or tallest structure they can make with legos, or re-create a classic art piece in the medium of their choice.
The booming phenomena of the "Adult coloring book", is a great example of a "younger skill" making an appearance in our adult lives. This relieves stress, and brings us joy, those two things are enough to make it worth our while.
So go ahead, stretch the boundaries, and have a throw back day of pure fun, both are part of a well rounded blooming human.
~Jeanette
